#fatfreefloozy

I am going to New Zealand!!! OMG! I am beyond excited!!!! But more about that later. I am still the same weight! I've been here for two years, so that's nothing new, but I have got a handle on the first rule I mentioned in my last post. I have been very careful about not snacking and eating five times a day. And I have been working on that rule, and that rule only, since I wrote the  last post. It took THAT long to get it right. RULE TWO Be in the moment when I eat. Savour the flavour and appreciate the food. This one is super important. I was a mage binge eater. It started when I was tiny and my Mum would buy us treats from the supermarket that we had to "Scoff down" before we got home so that my Dad didn't know. Even if were full, we had to leave no evidence. I still feel a rush from hiding food. In my school bag, in my handbag, wherever, if I can hide it, I feel this sense of excitement. So, by limiting my eating to five times a day, I restrict that gr...

Sometimes, we get into habits that are hard to break. After having my little band for 5 years now, that is exactly what I have done. I've got into some bad habits and have forgotten the rules that lead me to success in the first place. I am on Day 3 of tracking now. It hasn't yet shown on the scales, but I am on holidays and my steps tend to halve when I am not running around at work all day!! So, I'm not too worried about that. Anyhow; I need to refocus slowly on turning the "rules" into habits. So, let's look at the first rule: EAT THREE MAIN MEALS A DAY AND TWO PLANNED SNACKS * This seems so easy, but as I was getting closer to goal, it was so easy to just start snacking on little things throughout the day. Things that I saw on the table. Snacks that I grabbed on the run. Planned snacks are very different. They are calculated and not impulsively smooshed down my gob. The other really important thing is to wait for hunger signals. I don't have to eat...

So, I did some flab searching today (which is like soul searching, but related directly to my diet) and decided to eat whatever I wanted today. I felt like a white hot chocolate and I had one, I felt like cruskits with vegemite for breakfast, so I had it and the most incredible thing happened. I haven't eaten dinner yet and I am already over twice the average calories of a normal maintenance allowance for a woman!!! That is how much I underestimate the calories in those little things I add onto a moderately healthy diet every day. I mean, my general day goes like this: Breakfast  - I cook the hubby something delish and then have a couple of bites. 10am - I am hungry and have a protein bar/yoghurt/sakatas Lunch - Can of tuna and some cruskits or leftovers (sugar free soup/curry/casserole) - about a cup Afternoon - Some form of hot drink/latte/flat white and some cheese/nuts/biscuits (sugar free) Dinner - A recipe from the sugar free cookbook Supper - Cup of tea Now, that is...

I really truly hope that you are not following me to get skinny motivation hey? Or maybe you are. Maybe I am awesome motivation for what not to do. I'm kind of lost. As I laid today getting my biannual (well, it's been four years since the last one) girlscrape, I was telling the lady with her hands up my va jay jay that I'd lost 50 kilos and kept it off for three years. Yep. Three years. I've been within this five kilos for three years and do you know what? I'm kind of happy about that. If you asked me twenty years ago if you could make me 85 kilos but I would stay there for three years, I would have said "yes, please", but at the moment it feels "unfinished" for want of a better word. I'm stuck not knowing what to do and whether I actually have the strength to see it through anyhow. There are things that have worked for me in the past, but only in the moment. Not sustainable. And 20 kilos from the "end" of my journey, I really want...

I AM going to lose sixty kilos in total before I am 40!!! Yep. That is the goal I have set myself. So, fourteen kilos in 8 months! TOTALLY DOABLE! Bring it on! How?? I am quitting sugar. I am working out half an hour every day minimum. No exceptions. I am going to start drinking that evil clear liquid of the Gods (eek!) And I'll visit here a little more often. Let's go skinny biatches!

Seriously, is there anything better than discovering a new recipe? The granola in the I Quit Sugar program is to die for. It's something that I'll keep in my breakfast list forever. It is pretty much coconut flakes, mixed nuts, chia seeds, spices and rice malt syrup toasted in the oven in some coconut oil, but team it with a good quality full fat yoghurt and you pretty much have the dieting girl's fix for ice-cream. Delish!

It's been awhile. I guess no posting is a sign that things have been going well in real life right? And, that's just about right. I have just got back from Sydney and had a lovely time with my two besties. I ate like a mofo and expected a whole heap of damage, but I guess all that walking around kept me in check, because the scale hasn't moved. Actually, I think my body likes being this weight. My weight has moved between the same five kilos for about two years now, and that's ok with me, because it's still 50 kilos lighter than I was five years ago. I feel healthier and happier than ever. Having said that though, my best friend and I have signed up to do the 8 week I quit sugar program with Sarah Wilson. It started four weeks ago, but we both decided that starting it and then, going to Sydney for a week, would be really silly, so we are starting it together next week. I also rejoined my local YMCA. I got a 12 month membership including all classes, gym use and pool...

Yum! Breakfast smoothie to wash down my 83.1kg weigh-in. Have undone some of the Easter damage! Woohoo! Coconutty berry smoothie 4 strawberries 20 frozen blueberries 180mls coconut milk 1 tspn raw cocao 1 tspn rice malt syrup Blend. Drink. Pic to the left!! Hugs, #fff xoxo

So, one month later and I'm back. I've been mentally preparing myself for this day. I have created a new header which exposes me in all my wrinkly, loose skin goodness - doing what I love best; posing, exercising and singing! I am more prepared than one month ago. I've spent my time reading these books over the past four weeks; I feel much more aware of how my body is going to respond to sugar withdrawal and what I did wrong the first time. I'm sure that this journey will not be perfect, but I am at least taking the first step again. And after Easter's little two kilo gain, it is very apt timing.  #fff xoxo PS - I have set up an instagram. Hit me up with your user names!!!

So, I was doing very, very well for three days. Virtually no sugar. However, on the 4th day I had an unprepared day. I went to work, headed to my 4pm spray tan and then rushed to get to a gig I was singing at. I'd had no sugar up until that point and the meal was provided. It was a ten course designation by a beautiful chef and I asked to be served after I sang. I got the meal at about 10pm, and by then the adrenaline pumping, I was starving. I downed a few smoked salmon somethings and then my sister grabbed me a can of coke and I practically skulled it. I don't even normally drink coke, but I was so tired, hungry, thirsty, glad that it was over and stressed, that I did. The next day, I worked a full 8 hour shift again, and then taught guitar for two hours and then rushed to another gig. This time I ordered dinner. I couldn't even eat it. Well, I had 6 cajun chips with lime yoghurt and that was that. I had a friend arrive to stay Friday night and then, Saturday had a day at...

So, I am reading this - Extract: Sweet Poison: Why Sugar Makes us Fat | Penguin Books Australia  and I have only finished chapter One (which is a kazillion pages long btw), but I am sensing that I may be, hold onto your seats, a sugarholic. I realise that I am also a fataholic, milkaholic, donutaholic, chipaholic etc, but there lies a little bit of a clue in Chapter One that is leading me to believe that my other binges, might all be blameable on my first! Calm your farm fat free floozy! There is also a shitload of reasons why sugar is crap for you and not a whole reasons why it is good. So, actually there is like a kazillion (or 50ish) pages about the detrimental health benefits of sugar and none about how it raises me above falling asleep in my staff meetings! I'm not going 100% sugar free, but am becoming mindful of what I am eating that has sugar in it. So, todays meals included: Breakfast: One weetbix with milk Recess: Two rice crackers and a white coffee Lunch: No ...

I have been soon on track this week. I am aching from all the amazing classes that I have attended and my mental health is so much better when I exercise. Food has been great. I was starving today, but kept my eating on track. I am not counting calories, or fat, or worrying too much - just filling my body with the good stuff and allowing myself the occasional treat. I haven't quit sugar yet, but I did download the "Sweet Poison" e-book to educate myself about the dangers. And the weekly weigh-in result? Another 600 grams down, and at this end of the journey, I'll take that. My NSV of the week is definitely a lady coming up to me at Zumba class and saying, "I tried to keep up with you, but I just couldn't. You are so springy!!" Made my day. Weekly Weigh-In: Start weight : 132kg Last week: 83.5 This week: 82.9 Loss this week: 0.6kg Total loss: 49.1kg Left to go: 17.9kg Love ya guts! #FFF xoxo

So, I lost 100 grams this week. I've worked out steadily. I've eaten well. Yet, I feel a little out of control. I feel like I am constantly thinking about eating and not eating and starving and binging and it all revolves around one tiny thing. Food addiction. I have overcome so many obstacles along this journey, but the fact that food still has so much power over me, drives me crazy. For instance, I may finish my day on 1200 calories and do a Body Combat class and feel amazing, but if there is a party pie on the morning tea plate, I CANNOT say No to it! It calls me, and I think about it until I have it. Then, sometimes I need to compensate later by skipping dinner for a glass of milk. At the time, I rationalise my choices, but I HATE that food controls me. And I think the whole root of the problem is my absolute and unwavering addiction to sugar. I am researching now, the hold that sugar has over me, and I'm thinking that sugar and I need to have a long awaited break-up. ...

It's been a really good week. I started the week after my last post well. I headed to Sh'Bam at 6pm. The problem? It was actually Body Combat at 5:30pm. They have a fortnightly rotation and due to Australia Day, I stuffed it up! Derr! Tuesday night was my friend's birthday and we had a lovely dinner with all her friends, so no gym. Headed to Zumba and poured my soul into it (because I felt guilty for having two nights off). Went to Zumba again Thursday at my regular Zumba place (not the gym!) and was so happy to be sweaty and puffing! The instructor has a dace background and pushes us to shake it so much more than other Zumba instructors! Got home Friday and completely cleaned the house ready for some special visitors who were arriving Saturday. On Saturday morning I got up early and headed to Pump. This is a big change for me. Normally, if I have an excuse, like visitors coming, I would make an excuse not to go. But, nup, this time I went early. Having an old friend visit ...

I love Lorna Jane's mantra for her company. I'm not a huge fan of her clothing. I keep buying it, but it doesn't fit well. Point in case was a gorgeous Sports Bra that I bought for $70 and wore today to Body Balance. My girls kept falling out the middle. It's got like a sexy gap thing, but every time I leant forward, my girls fell through the sexy girl thing! NOT sexy! Anyhow, off the point. I thought I might  reflect on my week using this mantra. MOVE My exercise this week has been o.k, but I came to the past week of my holidays and just got so busy trying to fit stuff in, that it could have been better. My fitbit has gone a little haywire and won't tell me my steps, which is driving me crazy. I've had it for two years, so it's time just might be up, but I didn't realise how much it was motivating me to move more. I'll look around for another I think. NOURISH For the most part, my food has been good. I had a memorial service for a dear frien...

O.K. So, because I am crazy and obsessed with working out, I joined not one, but two gyms. Why? Well, I have a certain loyalty to this beautiful little gym that I have been going to for 3 years. The instructors are lovely, and they know my name. And the gym is intimate enough to make you feel special but not too small that it gets awkward when there are just two of you in the class. However, there are a couple of problems with this gym for me. Firstly, in the three years that I have been working out there, I have lost over 30 kilos and have gone from a size 22 to a size 14. In that time, both the owner and his Mum have been the people to have signed me up for membership renewals, in fact, they are normally on the door when I arrive for class five days out of seven. And in that time, do you know how many times they have said "you are doing a good job" or "You've lost some weight, this is really working" or "hey, want to sit down and work out a new program, y...

to gym or not to gym....that is the question. Now, believe it or not, unlike the rest of my chubstick family, I actually love the gym! I love dancing, sweating, pushing myself, wearing lycra..everything about exercise. But, I have been doing one hour a day for the past year, with an occasional Sunday off, and I have not changed weight at all. At all. So therein begs the question, is it all worth it? The answer I guess is, for my mental health and fitness, then yes, it is worth it. A little discouraging, but worth it. So, then, the YMCA, the local small intimate gym where "everyone knows your name" or bootcamp? I will be signing up for one of them tomorrow! Look out Lorna Jane! Fat Free Floozy is getting her some sweat pant sessions! Yee hah! #FFF xoxo

Well, hello there stranger! I have deleted all previous blogs and blog posts in an effort to become more active on the blogosphere. My posts are often constructed in my mind and then I tend to worry about someone "discovering" me from my real life and they remain just little rants in my head and never come to fruition here. That said, I have always been a writer. I have penpalled for over twenty five years and have kept a diary for that long too. I miss this place. This place where I can splurge my thoughts out and relive the struggles of losing weight from day to day. So, I am here. For all to see. And I don't really care anymore if someone finds me because this is truly just another facet of who I am. So, feel free to come along with me. And comment away. Because I need support and guidance from you. So, who am I? I'm in my 30s and have had a lapland since April 2010. I have lost up to 50kgs (47 at the moment) and have hovered there for a long time. I got married ...