Sunday, September 11, 2016


Yep! I am 21 weeks pregnant now. I had a scan last week and I have a very active little cherub in there. I have put on a shitload of weight but I am also swollen up like one of those water caterpillar things you step on and they pop. Everyone who sees me says, "Have you seen your midwife about that swelling?" And I say "yes" to keep the peace, but the honest truth is....I haven't had time to book in to see a midwife yet! I am hanging out for the holidays so I can laze and put my feet up for awhile. They cannot come soon enough, I'm telling you. My eating? Well, I am constantly hungry and can eat lots more than usual. I am eating pretty healthily (except when I NEED a bowl of rice bubbles for lunch!) but just a lot more and I don't know how to regulate that when I haven't got a band and I am genuinely hungry. I am still going to the gym 4 times a week but can no longer do sit-ups or step-ups, but my instructors are awesome and keep adjusting stuff for me. I think I might do pregnancy yoga this week to try and reduce my stress levels.

I hope all is well with you all!


FFF + 1 xoxo

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Surprises galore! Well, just one freaking big one really....

Missing: Blogger

I know that in my last post, I was very excited to become a diligent eater, exerciser and blogger and then………I realized that I was pregnant! Yep! Happy 40th birthday pregnant! I thought I’d be one of those statistics of people that left my run too late but my body obviously had other plans. Now, being pregnant in your 40s is no sunshine and rainbows moment. In fact, I have spent the last 3 months petrified of everything that has happened.

1 week after my period, I had this funny moment with my eating. I went to the gym and did a workout and I got home and beat two eggs together with 1 tablespoon of light cream, I chucked it into the microwave, grabbed it out and ate it up. But, I was still hungry. So, I got up and grabbed 2 more eggs and did the same thing again. And I ate it all. And, then I knew, I was pregnant. Seems weird, but after having a gastric band for 5 years, I KNOW exactly how much I can eat and my two eggs is normally right on the edge of my fullness level, so eating two plates made me question straight away. So, I did a HPT and found that it was positive. I didn’t tell my hubby yet though. Can’t those things be fake positive? So, for two weeks, I did about three more HPT – all positive. And for those two weeks, I ate and ate and ate like my band had magically disappeared. I had absolutely no symptoms though. No nausea, no vomiting, no sore boobs; just appetite! 1 week later I went to the Doctor. Yep. Pregnant. And blood tests. And referred to a hematologist and a gyn0cologist. Low protein levels (possible clotting) and a maternal age that is classified as “high risk”. When I got home, I told my hubby. He was way more excited than I thought he would be. Scared, but excited.

I drove 350kms to see a gyno as we don’t have one here and she asked me to get a dating scan which put me at 7 weeks. I was fully expecting my pregnancy to be ectopic due to a few other factors my Doctor had mentioned (family history etc.) but, bubs was exactly where it should have been, and then, more blood tests, and more pee tests. Insert here 4 weeks of being at school in body but not in mind or spirit as I had soooooo much lethargy. I was so tired and fell asleep doing things like teaching guitar and typing at my computer!! At this stage only my hubby knew, but I had to tell my gym instructors because I was aware that I may over-exert and pass out or something. I also decided to tell my sister, because she is my best friend and a nurse. I felt like I needed someone to ring if anything went wrong and my hubby was away or something. So now? I am 12 weeks and I just had my second scan. I thought I was going to go in and the baby was going to be not breathing/moving. I don’t know why I keep thinking this is not going to happen for me. Maybe because I have had NO SYMPTOMS except tiredness and appetite and most women over 40 tell me that you get those regardless! I also know that there are higher risks at my age and therefore keep doing things to check that I haven’t miscarried. I’m waiting now for the results of my scan, which will tell me if my baby has any abnormalities and then maybe, I can let people know.

Friday, May 13, 2016

Trying something new

So, as of Friday, I was still 83.3kg, so that's awesome. This morning I have signed into a new PT with an ex-Millitary guy who specialises is boxing. It's with a small group of girls that I don't know, but I feel that I am fitter and ready for the challenge. Our gym works in a good way in regards to PT - you book a trainer and a time for $70 an hour and then you share that cost with whoever you choose to have in your group. So, for me, I get three different trainers per week with three different groups. I have a group with my two nieces, my sister in law and my best friend, so that costs us $14 each, I have a group with "the ex bootcamp girls" and that only costs us $12 because there are a few more of us, then I have a group with my sister's best friend, her daughter and my nephew, which is a bit more expensive because there are less of us. It works pretty well. The group this morning advertised on Facebook for extra members to cut their costs down and I jumped at it because this guy is one of my favourite trainers. He's like a shy, friendly commando dude and I have similar philosophies to him. I'm a bit anxious now, but I'll love it when I get there. I always do.


FFF xoxo

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

2016 - Lowest weight!!

I hit my lowest weight for this year! 83.3kg. Actually, I haven't weighed less than this since the 13th May 2015 - almost a year! I had bootcamp this morning and personal training this arvo and so Wednesday is the day that I don't count calories, so I am not going to weigh in tomorrow morning. I'll leave it until Friday! 82.4kg - come at me!!! That is my next lowest weight! The last time I weighed under 82kgs was 11th July 2013. I told you my body was REALLY happy and comfortable at this weight! But, it feels SO good to be moving again. And since being banded I have never hit the 55kg loss mark, so that is definitely my next major goal. And when I hit it, I am definitely going to get inked!!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Down a little

Not in mood. But in weight! My paleo is finally starting to catch up with my body and this morning saw a weigh-in of 83.5kg. I had a chat to my personal trainer to get some nutrition and training advice and he said "keep doing what you are doing, it is obviously working". I think mostly I am scared of those massive gains that just happen for no reason. My weight went up 2 kilos after I had a shandy for Anzac Day. My body is stoopid like that! But, I'll take the downwards movement and in 0.1kg, I'll have my lowest weight this year!



Monday, May 9, 2016


I REALLY tried to post on the weekend, but my login disappeared from the computer desktop! I promise!!!!!

I used to get this forbidding sense of dread on Sunday night. This real sense of not wanting to face Monday. Monday is by far, my busiest day and it drains me. I go to work at 8am and have no time off all day. Even my lunch break is taken up with volunteering to take a band rehearsal. From 3-4pm I have rehearsals for a production I am putting on (I am director, musical director and choreographer!) At 4:15pm, I head to another community volunteer band and teach drums (I don't even play drums, but I can read the music and they needed someone). At 6pm, I have footy training (Did I mention that I have signed on to play footy for a local AFL women's league?) And I get home at about 7:15. Now, I know that some people work 12 hour shifts, but being "on" for 11 hours, pretty much does me over. Tonight I decided to skip footy training. I bought a coffee at 7:30ma on the way to work and was still drinking it at 4pm because I didn't have time to eat anything else. So, I was starving. Actually starving. And I was so happy to feel my body respond and want food. I am still going to work out, but I am going to have my 6 oysters kilpatrick for dinner first. Then I may have some energy. Just making that decision and being at peace with it it something awesome for me!


FFF xoxo

Friday, May 6, 2016

It feels like yesterday

There is something just wonderful about sharing this journey with people. And this blog is crucial to that process. So, why does it constantly take a back burner? Well, because I am very much that person that doesn't want to let anyone down, so when given a list of things to do, I do the ones that influence other people first. So that I'm not letting them down. This blog really doesn't hurt anyone but me when it is not complete. And therefore, it comes last. I just looked back and realised that I haven't blogged for three weeks or something and I was amazed. Where did that time go?
That brings me to things that I tend to compromise on all the time. My friend cooked me pasta the other day, and I ate it so that I didn't have to tell him that I don't eat pasta anymore. I was so worried about offending him that, I just ate it. And I felt sick afterwards. But I didn't let him down.
I don't talk about my diet/lifestyle or change to ANYONE. I am so scared of being judged. Sometimes, that hinders me too. Like when my sister prepares me something for lunch, which I can't eat, and I take it and eat it because I don't want her knowing that I am trying something new.
It is time to find some strength. I read "Diary of a Winning Loser" and am empowered with his ability to keep to his plan integrity. He just has things that are unwavering. Things that are broadcast to his supporters and the world, but not once have I thought of doing that for myself. Until now.
I want things that are unwavering in my life.
Things to make me believe in myself.
Things that bring me strength.
1. I will eat foods that nourish my body and put everything that touches my mouth into food track app.
2. I will train at least 6 days a week in any form I like and get my Personal Trainer to track my progress.
3. I will blog daily. For me.
That is all.
FFF xoxo